这一生，我明白得最早的一个道理就是 ，人是铁 ，床是磁铁 。

One of the earliest truths I've learned in my lifeis that people are iron, and beds are magnets.

人为什么叫人类？因为人活着就很累。

Why do people call human? Because peopleare tired when they live.

人类的悲欢并不相通，但困和不想上学却是相通的。

People's joys and sorrows are not interlinked, but sleepiness and not wanting to go toschool are interlinked.

如果你愿意一层一层剥开我的心，你会坐牢，我跟你讲。

If you're willing to peel my heart off one layerat a time, you're going to jail.

晚上我偷偷问魔镜：“我是不是这个世界上最黑的人？”魔镜发出惊恐的声音：“谁？谁TM在说话？”

I secretly asked the mirror at night, "am I the darkest person in the world?" The mirror made a frightened voice: who? Who's talking

对于我暗恋的人，我想对他说一句话：你到底是什么品种的鱼，怎么那么难钓？

For the person I love secretly, I want to say aword to him: what kind of fish are you? Why are you so difficult to fish?

我经常偷偷告诉自己管住嘴，不能胖，不然以后穷得去要饭，都没人相信我是是乞丐。

I often secretly tell myself that I can't be fat, orI'll go begging in the future, and no onebelieves that I'm a beggar.

许多女人在当妈妈了以后，才突然间明白什么叫“父爱如山”！山一般就是呆在那里，啥也不干，杵着，一直杵着。

Many women suddenly understand what"father's love is like a mountain" afterbecoming a mother, Because the mountain just stays there and doesn't move.

问各位一个问题，老鼠药过期了，是没用了，还是更毒了？

I would like to ask you a question, if the ratdrug expired, is it useless, or more toxic?

图源来自网络，侵权立删！谢谢！