为什么秀恩爱要选中午？因为早晚会遭报应。

Why they show love at noon? Because they will bepunished sooner or later.

不当家不知柴米贵，不拍照不知自己肥。横批：又穷又丑。

I don't know the price of firewood and rice if I'm not in charge. I don't know how fat I am if I don't take pictures. The central line of a couplet: poor and ugly.

有什么低卡又好吃的甜食可以推荐吗？甜甜圈中间的那个圈。

Is there anything low calorie and delicious torecommend? The one in the middle of thedoughnut.

每天晚上回家，我都会对着影子说一句：“对不起，又让你饿肚子了。”

Every night when I go home, I will say to my shadow, "I'm sorry to make you hungry again.

取少量学生于试管中，加入过量的作业，溶解，过滤，得到学霸和学渣。

you can take a small number of students in the test tube, add excessive homework, dissolve and filter, then it will get curve wrecker and underachiever.

前两天练习倒车入库，左倒右倒怎么都进不去，最后教练说：“来来，下车！咱俩抬进去。

The first two days I practiced backing into theparking lot, but I couldn't get in. Finally, the coach said: "You get out of the car and we both carry it in."

这个天气，如果我和你妈同时掉进水里，先救你妈吧，让我在水里多呆一会儿。

In this weather, if your mother and I fall into the water at the same time, please save your mother first and let me stay in the water for a while.

上课的时候，虽然不知道老师在那讲什么，但好像很厉害的样子。

In class, although I don't know what the teacher is talking about, he seems to be very powerful.

图源来自网络，侵权立删！谢谢！