四海八荒，我一女子，来到凡间，只为渡今生的一个劫：穷。

I came to this world just to get through the ordeal: poor.

电脑录入文字的时候，别人盲打能不看键盘，我就厉害了，我能不看屏幕。

When typing text, others can type blindlywithout looking at the keyboard, I am different, I can not look at the screen.

男生说你长得甜，不是夸你好看，而是胖的人，别人一看就觉得糖度挺高。

Boys say that you are sweet, not praise you good-looking, but fat people make people think that their sugar content is very high.

不要总说国产东西不好用，就比如说人民币，我就觉得很好用，我一直在用，就是不太够。

Don't always say that domestic products arenot good, such as RMB. I think it's very good. I use it all the time, but it's not enough.

朋友跟我哭诉，说因为太穷而经常失恋。我顿时对这个社会绝望了，同样是穷，凭什么他能有女朋友？

My friend cried to me that he was oftenlovelorn because he was too poor. I immediately despair of this society: we are all poor, why can he have a girlfriend?

“暗恋一个人是什么感觉？”“感觉他身上有wifi。”

"What's it like to fall in love with someone insecret? "" I feel like he has WiFi on him."

有时候我不太明白，为什么在网络上聊得很开心的两个人一见面就没话说了呢？今天我终于找到答案了，因为面对面没法发表情。

Sometimes I don't understand why two peoplewho have a good time chatting on the Internethave no words when they meet? Today I finally found the answer, because they can't send emoticons face to face.

你要是喜欢一个女生，就好好学习，找个好工作，挣好多好多钱，等她结婚的时候，可以多出点份子钱。

If you like a girl, you should study hard, find agood job and earn a lot of money. When she gets married, you can give her more money.

图源来自网络，侵权立删！谢谢！