靓仔你好，我叫乐多，所以你想要养乐多吗？

Hello, my name is Leduo, so do you want Yakult?

我有QQ糖，糖给你，你的QQ给我吧！

I have sugar, I give you sugar, you give me QQ of you!

三观正，我们可以做朋友，而五官正，我们可以做男女朋友。

We can be friends if you have a good values, but we can be marriage partners, if you have good features.

今天又被邻居投诉我扰民，因为我穷得叮当响。

Today, my neighbor complained that I was disturbing the people because I was so poor.

大家好，我是一只螃蟹，我的钳子没了，我没钱了。

Hello, everyone. I'm a crab. My pincers are gone, so I have no money.

上了很多年学，却什么也没学会，请叫我白学公主。

I have been studying for many years, but I haven't learned anything. Please call me princess Bai Xue.

爱说风凉话的人，应该是风油精和清凉油生出来的。

People who like to speak sarcastic wordsshould be born of essential balm and cool oil.

我要好好努力，要不然人家会说我除了长得好看，一无是处。

I have to work hard, otherwise people will saythat I am nothing but good-looking.

其实我们可以将所有的问题归结为两种：一种是没饭吃饿出来的，一种是吃饱了撑出来的。

In fact, we can put all the problems down totwo kinds: one is the lack of food, one is full.

图源来自网络，侵权立删！谢谢！