第一次做饭，问我爸咋样，他说：这盐炒得不错，有淡淡的菜香。

The first time I cooked, I asked my father howthe food was. He said: the salt is good, and ithas a light aroma.

夏日择偶标准：招蚊子喜欢的！

Summer mate selection criteria: lovedby mosquitoes!

快乐有很多种，见到你是第一种！

There are many kinds of happiness, tosee you is the first!

欢迎你来我乱七八糟的小星球做客。

Welcome to my messy little planet.

自打这入夏以来啊，太阳就偏偏独宠我一人，于是啊，我就劝太阳一定要雨露均沾，这太阳非是不听啊，就晒我！就晒我！把我晒得那叫一个黑呀！

Since the beginning of summer, the sun hasfavored me,therefore, I advised the sun must be fair, the sun doesn't listen to me, then it will shine on me and make me dark!

我的主要成分：1%的沙雕+99%的穷。

My main ingredient: 1% dobby + 99% poverty.

我知道岁月会磨平我的棱角，可是摁在地上摩擦是不是太过分了！

I know years will smooth my edges and corners, but it's going to far to pressme on the ground to rub!

你的头怎么跟机关枪似得，秃秃秃秃秃的！

Your head looks like a machine gun, bald!

今天有个男生骂我的照片修得像奥特曼， 我想一天也没弄明白，我是像迪迦还是赛罗。

Today, a boy scolded me for making my photo look like Altman,I thought for a day whether I was like Degas or serro.

图源来自网络，侵权立删！谢谢！