导语：今天的我你爱理不理，明天的我你还爱理不理，不是你这人咋这么没礼貌呢?

在书店看到一本书

I saw a book in the bookstore

叫《解决你人生50%的问题》 于是我买了两本

It's called Solve 50% of Your Life, so I bought two

你要早点睡，不要熬夜玩手机，

You have to go to bed early, don't stay up late playing with your cell phone,

这样对手机不好

This is not good for mobile phones

一块钱开通3个月微信超级会员秒到账，

A dollar to open 3 months WeChat super member seconds to account,

一个号仅一次，想被骗的朋友d我。

A number only once, want to be deceived friends d me.

我编了个段子说想找人谈恋爱，

I made up a paragraph saying I wanted someone to fall in love,

朋友圈突然出现一个人的头像红1

A circle of friends suddenly appeared a person's head red 1

我兴奋至极打开，看到：段子我拿了

I was so excited that I opened it and saw: I took it

你在阳台抽烟，你抽一半，风抽一半，

You smoke on the balcony, you smoke half, the wind smokes half,

你没跟风计较，可能风也有烦恼吧

You don't follow the wind, maybe the wind has trouble, too

你打篮球受过最严重的一次伤是什么？”

What was your worst injury in basketball? "

看着对手的女朋友喂他喝水。

Watch his opponent's girlfriend feed him water.

如果这个冬天你再控制不住嘴，也不减肥

If you can't control your mouth this winter, you won't lose weight

你将有个很特别洋气的英文名—肥德·圆不隆冬

You will have a very special English name - Fate Round not long winter

你的感情路不顺吗，

Is your relationship not going well,

很顺啊，一路上连个人影都没有

Very smooth ah, along the way there is not even a personal shadow

我跟拖延症说我要干掉他，

I told procrastination that I was going to kill him.

拖延症回我说明天吧，我说好的。

Procrastination back to me tomorrow, I said yes.