導語：今天的我你愛理不理，明天的我你還愛理不理，不是你這人咋這麼沒禮貌呢?

在書店看到一本書

I saw a book in the bookstore

叫《解決你人生50%的問題》 於是我買了兩本

It's called Solve 50% of Your Life, so I bought two

你要早點睡，不要熬夜玩手機，

You have to go to bed early, don't stay up late playing with your cell phone,

這樣對手機不好

This is not good for mobile phones

一塊錢開通3個月微信超級會員秒到賬，

A dollar to open 3 months WeChat super member seconds to account,

一個號僅一次，想被騙的朋友d我。

A number only once, want to be deceived friends d me.

我編了個段子說想找人談戀愛，

I made up a paragraph saying I wanted someone to fall in love,

朋友圈突然出現一個人的頭像紅1

A circle of friends suddenly appeared a person's head red 1

我興奮至極打開，看到：段子我拿了

I was so excited that I opened it and saw: I took it

你在陽臺抽菸，你抽一半，風抽一半，

You smoke on the balcony, you smoke half, the wind smokes half,

你沒跟風計較，可能風也有煩惱吧

You don't follow the wind, maybe the wind has trouble, too

你打籃球受過最嚴重的一次傷是什麼？”

What was your worst injury in basketball? "

看着對手的女朋友喂他喝水。

Watch his opponent's girlfriend feed him water.

如果這個冬天你再控制不住嘴，也不減肥

If you can't control your mouth this winter, you won't lose weight

你將有個很特別洋氣的英文名—肥德·圓不隆冬

You will have a very special English name - Fate Round not long winter

你的感情路不順嗎，

Is your relationship not going well,

很順啊，一路上連個人影都沒有

Very smooth ah, along the way there is not even a personal shadow

我跟拖延症說我要幹掉他，

I told procrastination that I was going to kill him.

拖延症回我說明天吧，我說好的。

Procrastination back to me tomorrow, I said yes.