2020年北京海淀区高三二模英语情景作文分析

刘凯老师给高三学子二模后的建议：

书面表达——情景作文模块：

对于优秀的同学们来说，重点是语言质量和文章立意高度的把握，可多看历年考场满分或优秀作文，重视开放思维和英语学科核心素养。

对于中等程度的同学们要重视审题解题，以提取要点和提高语言表达质量为重心，积累话题词汇、表达句式，力争进入二类文。

对于基础相对薄弱的同学们而言，更需注重基础词汇和句子的准确表达，不断记忆并归纳整理，进而尝试在书面表达中运用，达到知识迁移的效果。

第二节（20分）假设你是红星中学高三学生李华。请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序，以“Concert at the Balcony”为题，用英语写一篇短文向校刊“英语园地”投稿，记述上周末发生在你们小区的一个真实故事。

注意：词数不少于60.

一、评分原则： 1．本题总分为 20 分，按 5 个档次给分。 2．评分时，先根据文章的内容和语言质量初步确定其档次，然后以该档次的要求来衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。 3．评分时应考虑：内容要点的完整性、上下文的连贯、词汇和句式的多样性及语言的准确性。 4．拼写、标点符号或书写影响内容表达时，应视其影响程度予以考虑。英、美拼写及词汇用法均可接受。 5．词数少于 60，从总分中减去 1 分。

参考范文Possible version 1:

Last weekend, an unexpected concert at the balcony made my day.上周末，阳台上一场意想不到的音乐会让我很开心。

On Sunday afternoon, when I was taking a break from my schoolwork, a clearmelody flowed in from the outside. It magically refreshed my tired mind and aroused my curiosity.

Hoping to find its source, I went to the balcony. A young man was playing hisviolin on the balcony across from mine, his eyes half closed in full enjoyment of the tune. Amazed by his playing, I listened on and was absorbed.

Unexpectedly, to the melody of the violin was added a wonderful chord of guitarfrom another neighbor. At this scene, I couldn’t help singing along and was surprisedwhen a girl also joined with her pure voice of a child. We hardly knew one another,but in our perfect harmony, we felt like old friends connected by our shared love ofmusic. Our little concert went on and on, fascinating the whole community.

With a closing chord on the guitar, the concert ended. We smiled and waved toeach other as if we had just woken up from a sweet dream of music. Our shared memory of the concert at the balcony would not fade away, from which I felt the power of music to inspire and connect people. 随着吉他的结束和弦，音乐会结束了。我们微笑着向对方挥手，仿佛我们刚从音乐的美梦中醒来。我们对阳台音乐会的共同记忆不会淡忘，从中我感受到了音乐的力量，它鼓舞着人们，将人们联系在一起。(213 words)

参考范文Possible version 2:

Last weekend, a special concert took place in my neighborhood. The uplifting music and heartwarming neighborliness kept resonating in my mind.上周末，在我家附近举行了一场特别的音乐会。令人振奋的音乐和温馨的邻里情谊一直在我的脑海中回荡。

Last Saturday afternoon, I was bored at home doing homework when a piece of beautiful music flowed into my room and refreshed me immediately. Since the outbreak of the virus, everything has gone virtual, so I hurried to my balcony to check it out.

The melody led me to locate the violinist in seconds: a teenage boy playing My Motherland and I on his balcony. Although it was not perfect, the organic sound of the violin and his deep affection stunned me. I was lost in his music. Before I realized it, aguitar joined! The guitar from a young lady downstairs gave the music a more livelytone. I couldn’t help humming the familiar tune when I suddenly heard someone singing clearly and cheerfully. There was another girl volunteering as the vocalist ofthis mini band! Inspired by all of them, I started singing loudly. The four of us stageda live balcony concert as if on a stage with audience!

When the concert came to an end, we applauded each other’s wonderful performance and waved at each other enthusiastically. “Take care!” “Looking forwardto the next performance!” were echoing in the community.

As the whole nation and even the whole world were struggling to get used to life with restrictions while fighting against the virus, lots of fabulous ideas were produced to boost people’s morale. This heartening balcony concert in my neighborhood truly entertained me and rallied the optimistic spirit. 当整个国家，甚至整个世界都在努力适应有限制的生活的同时，与病毒作斗争，产生了许多令人难以置信的想法来鼓舞人们的士气。在我家附近的这个令人振奋的阳台音乐会确实给我带来了欢乐，鼓舞了我乐观的精神。(263)